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Postcards From the Edge of Employment

It was a journal entry in a rant of frustration over my job search that lead me to write this particular blog . By the end of the entry, I had written my way out of frustration and into encouragement. I find that happens a lot when you journal. My thought was, if I can keep writing myself out of frustration, maybe I can write postcards of encouragement to help someone else.

Originally the title of this article was “Postcards From the Edge of Unemployment“. Then it struck me – it feels far more encouraging to think of it as being on the edge of employment. It makes me feel like I’m almost there. For me, the job search has a different spin on it than many of my fellow job searchers because I left my previous job by choice. No downsizing, just me deciding that what had become a very unbalanced  lifestyle needed to change. Fortunately, I accomplished it on very good terms with my employer (and you know what they say….you’re always remembered most by your last act). Unfortunately, I also accomplished  it when the job market was the worst in my lifetime. It’s tough to feel justified bemoaning the job search challenge when you put yourself there. I couldn’t control the factors that lead to my decision, but I absolutely could control what I did to address it. Ultimately that decision was mine. That realization is  my first postcard of encouragement: Owning the after effects of a decision is the really important part.  And by owning I don’t mean just making, but owning its consequences. Making a decision is not the hard part. It’s owning what the decision brings that takes the real work. The episode of Seinfeld when Jerry explained to the car rental agent that  “See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to hold the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding.  Anybody can just take them.” comes to mind!  All joking aside, he’s right. Even if you didn’t make the decision to be unemployed, you can  own what you do with the after effects of the decision. And like holding the reservation, that’s the really important part.

If you’re in the job search, then you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say what gets tested most in this process is anything attached to the word “self”. Worth, confidence, direction…you name it, if you can attach it to “self”, it gets tested. You don’t always know (and most times you never do) why you didn’t get an interview, a call back after an interview, or a job offer after multiple interviews. So you wonder. And you start going back through everything connected to “self”. Sometimes, I think it’s the constant putting yourself out there for approval, that exposed feeling, that tests “self” most.  Other times, it’s the lack of professional courtesy when you are at your most vulnerable that brings the test. There’s a special place in  my customer loyalty and future recommendations for those companies that let me know they appreciate my time and interest in applying for a position with them, and who follow up with me after an interview, regardless of whether I’m the candidate of their choice or not. For those that don’t, I’ll offer up some free PR advice (and this goes for both the interviewer and interviewee) : In business, treat everyone like the customer you don’t have, but would like to. I know from first-hand experience, and experiences related to me by fellow job-seekers, how rejected that can make you feel.  Here’s another postcard of encouragement: It’s not rejection when you’re not offered the job, it’s redirection.  There is a better way for you to go. It’s not going the wrong direction that keeps anyone from  reaching their destination. It’s not being willing to redirect themselves. The redirection that tests all things “self” can be a strengthening tool, for as a Native American quote states, “The only way to pass the test is to take the test.”  Encouragement postcard number three: Be kind. Offer every ounce of help you can to anyone else in the same boat. The best thing you can do when the job search has you down is to do something to help someone else. Write a recommendation, pass along a job notice, or just offer words of support. Whoever you do it for is someone who is enduring the same “self” testing circumstances as you, and offering a leg up puts someone in a position to then turn around and offer you a hand . And it just plain feels good.

The fourth postcard of encouragement I’m sending you is this: Keep your oars in the water. You don’t have to always be rowing, but you’re much more likely to row if your oars are in the water. In other words, keep showing up. Keep doing the work, even if you don’t know if it’s the right work. Do something. I believe that just the act of doing the work makes you more of a magnet to opportunity, even if it’s not the work itself that brings it. One of my favorite quotes is by Andre Gide, “One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” One doesn’t discover them without keeping the oars in the water either. So whether you were pushed off shore or launched the boat yourself, I hope you take comfort in the thought that there is a new land out there for you to discover. Just keep rowing. Invite others into the boat to help you, and be willing to help others row theirs. And you will get to where you can send postcards from the land of opportunity!

12 responses

  1. Tom Schillaci

    Nice thoughts, Marisa !

    July 2, 2012 at 8:55 pm

  2. Tracy Mosher

    Well said Marisa! The job market in the Capital District has never been easy, but I know you have a lot of connections and the right opportunity will show itself!

    July 2, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    • Thanks Tracy! Writing this article actually helped a lot. Sometimes the best help for yourself is to offer some to anyone else!

      July 3, 2012 at 12:35 am

  3. Thanks Marisa, you’ve always been so uplifting. Unemployment can be tough. The best advice I ever heard about it… when I felt like I was letting down everyone around me… came from my wife. “Not working and being unemployed are completely separate things, and usually if you make sure you’re always working, employment will follow.” I know I’m just copying the last postcard, but it reminded me of that advice. You never know what doors you’re opening by continuing to work through unemployment. Sometimes doors open by themselves, but more often you have to build them splinter by splinter. Keep up the great work!

    July 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    • Thanks Matt! I like your wife’s words of wisdom….no wonder you love her! I already know why she loves you! I just hope the words are helpful!

      July 3, 2012 at 12:34 am

  4. I really relate to this post. I went through a very similar experience; you can read about it on my own blog: http://paminprogress.tumblr.com/post/17824001056/living-without-a-net. Three years later, I am still happy I made the change, but I am also still suffering consequences I hadn’t quite thought through!

    July 10, 2012 at 5:07 am

    • Thanks for your comment Pam! I’m really glad you could relate. I wrote it for myself as much as for trying to help others. I’ll check your post out! Sometimes the best decisions are also the toughest, so hang in there and best wishes to you in your search…you’ll get there!

      July 10, 2012 at 9:28 am

  5. Fadoua

    I feel each word you typed on your post Marisa. This has been so far the most painful, frustrating, and disappointing job search. I had phone screening, followed by a F2F interviews. Nobody bothers to send me a note. I guess they don’t have anything strong to justify their decision. My case was a mass lay off. Almost 2 years with no luck yet! I am trying to remain positive.

    July 14, 2012 at 1:25 am

    • It’s tough to stay positive in this process; however, I have found so much support and encouragement from the Connect group on LinkedIn, and knowing that I’m not alone in my frustration! Getting involved in volunteer work has helped as well. If there is a local National Association of Professional Women (NAPW) group in your area, you may want to look into attending a meeting. I found about them through LinkedIn, and went to a local meeting and got a lot of encouragement (I was the only unemployed attendee!) as well as help – one woman gave me the website to get free business cards printed (vistaprint.com – you just pay for shipping) so that I had something professional to give to contacts, and another woman forwarded me a job posting after the meeting. I think the important thing is to reach out and connect – you are most certainly not alone, and the people I’ve met in both these groups have been so supportive, uplifting and offering lots of help!

      July 14, 2012 at 9:45 am

  6. Very encouraging post.

    Thanks for the follow. 🙂

    May 19, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    • Thanks! I’m glad to hear it was encouraging! You are most welcome for the follow…and thanks for the same!

      May 19, 2013 at 6:24 pm

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